As adults we are preoccupied with constant activity. We either like to engage in physical doing or mental doing; either way, we harbor the belief that our every second needs to be filled with some activity or the other. In fact, the very basis of our self-esteem rests on the amount we do, how much we earn, how good we look, and how socially connected we are.
Our children are born with none of these worldly concerns. They do not operate from this manic state of “doing” like we are. Instead, they come to this earth with an innate sense of being that is inimitable. Tragically, however, after the first year or so, we adults begin to chip away at this intrinsic sense of self, and begin to alter, carve and reduce their limitless selves into a rigid confine based on the unimaginative confines of mainstream thinking. In order to meet, witness and celebrate our children’s sense of being-ness, we adults need to drop from this state of “doing” and enter into a different state – that of being-ness.
If we understood the basic nature of children, we would naturally come to realize how it is they should be responded to. We will realize that our assumptions for how it is they need to be related to may not be correct ones, and if we are brave enough, we will begin to transform our ways. Our children need very different things than what we assume they need. This is because our children come from a different orientation than we do. While we come from a place of Ego, where acquisitions, achievements and performance are the centerpiece of our existence, they come from a place of Soul or Essence where authentic spontaneity, simplicity, and creativity are the hallmark of their beings.
Children live in a different state than we do as adults. They live in a state of soul, presence, essence and being-ness. They instinctively know how to be. They know how to live within their bodies and respond from their soul. They are able to respond to reality, in the here and now in a manner that we adults are simply unable to. Children are naturally unconcerned with the material preoccupation of us adults; they are ready to embrace each and every moment for what it is, with little care for the things we obsess with such as what others think of us, how perfect we should be, or how we look.
It is we adults who are replacing our children’s vibrant love for themselves with a fear of the world and a deep shame for who it is they are. Instead of teaching them to honor their inner beings and consequently the inner beings in others, we teach them to contort who it is they are and sacrifice their authenticity to fit the ways of the world. It is here that we teach our children to split themselves from their Souls and their inner essence and begin to create a false personality or an Ego-self. This Ego-self is detached from the vibrancy of an inner world and is one where outer glamor and signposts become a measure of who a person is. It is we who are doing this to our children.
Are we enhancing their ability to manifest their true blueprint or are we forcing them to comply with the mainstream ways simply to fit in and consequently, to deny the chance to truly live their soul’s destiny? It is time we adults began to ask the question, “what is our responsibility in helping create our children’s unhappiness?”
It is time we began to see how we are invading our children’s spirits and begin to understand how we can instead, enliven, enhance and free them to live the lives they were meant to, without fear of shame or judgment. If we were open to our children’s innate wisdom, we would be able to let them soar, for they are far more attuned with their higher selves than we can ever be. If we allow them to lead the way, they will take us straight back to our hearts, our authentic selves and more than this, to our capacity to feel unfettered joy.
