An Oprah’s Lifeclass member who is in the process of separating from her partner asks parenting expert Dr. Shefali Tsabary for advice on how to stay connected with her daughters, 11 and 5, in this uncertain time. “They are blissfully unaware of our situation. It’s very calm at home,” she says. “I have to start the process of telling them what’s going on.”

Dr. Shefali says this mother first needs to make peace with the situation. “The real work needs to be in your becoming okay with it,” Dr. Shefali says. “The greatest armor in protecting them is in the togetherness, is in the connectivity, in them seeing mommy is okay, that this is really hard but there is light here.”

In the video above, Dr. Shefali shares why struggle sometimes has to happen to help the family grow into a new reality.

Dr. Shefali

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