Steffani, a mom of two young children, says her children’s refusal to listen during bath time triggers something within her that makes her feel frustrated and disrespected. This nightly ritual, which she says should be fun, often ends in yelling.

Parenting expert and author Dr. Shefali Tsabary says parents must look beyond their children’s behavior and ask themselves, “What is the wound within me? Why am I feeling invalidated at this moment?”

“This is why and how our children are our greatest mirrors because we are so intimate with them,” Dr. Shefali says. “They show us how really uncontrolled we are on the inside, how immature we are.”

Watch as Dr. Shefalil reveals the greatest challenge parents face during these difficult moments.

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