Fourteen-year-old John says he dreams of becoming a dancer. His mom, Dawn, a high achiever herself, says her son needs to be more focused on his schoolwork if he wants to attend a prestigious performing arts school like Julliard. While Dawn and her husband, Elton, are trying to support and empower their son, Dr. Shefali Tsabary says they are putting too much emphasis on “the doing aspects of life.”

To give their son the encouragement he needs, Dr. Shefali recommends that Dawn and Elton shift into abundance-based thinking. Instead of telling John, “You can go to Julliard,” Dr. Shefali says they should say, “Julliard will come to you.”

Watch as Dr. Shefali tells a group of parents in the Lifeclass Social Lab how to help their children embrace their personal struggles — not run away from them.

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